If you were describing yourself as a dictionary definition. What words would you use?
Maybe things like: Great boss, bad sister, newbie entrepreneur, perfectionist, lazy, fun, procrastinator, organised.
- Take a few moments to write your own down. Don’t filter or judge your thoughts; just let them flow. This can include roles, traits and characteristics.
- Separate Facts from Thoughts: Once you have your list, it’s time to categorise each item. Create two columns: one for facts and one for thoughts (or opinions).
Facts are objective statements about you.
For example:
- Mother
- Sales representative
- Entrepreneur
- Book reader
- Cyclist
Thoughts are subjective and often include adjectives or opinions.
For example:
- Great mother
- Bad mother
- Newbie entrepreneur
- Perfectionist
- Lazy
- Fun
- Procrastinator
- Organised
Anything that is not an objective fact is actually just a thought. Thoughts might feel like facts because you’ve believed them for so long, but they are just perceptions.
The Power of Thoughts
You might actually insist that some of these thoughts are indeed facts – I AM funny or I AM a procrastinator. These beliefs feel true because we have held onto them for so long.
A belief is just a thought you keep on thinking.
At some point in your life, you had the thought that you are a procrastinator (or insert your own word here). Initially, it was just a tiny thought. Then you found some evidence to back it up (finishing your work at the last minute), and it consolidated the thought. Over the years, you’ve built up an evidence bank to support that tiny thought you had once, long ago. Now, that little thought has turned into a belief, and that belief feels like the truth about you.
This process is the same for traits that you think are great. Maybe you thought you were funny. People laughed at your jokes, which reinforced the thought. Over time, you gathered more evidence, and now you believe you are funny.
If the thought that you are funny is serving you – keep it. But know that it is not an absolute truth about you; it is just a thought you have about yourself.
Changing Your Narrative
If you understand that being a procrastinator is just a thought you had once, which you went about proving to be true, then you can also start to ‘unthink’ it and look for evidence to the contrary. Not only that, but you can choose to think something else about yourself – like you are an action taker – and start to deliberately think that thought and look for evidence to support it.
You can literally decide exactly what you want to believe about yourself and make it your truth.
Mind-blowing, right?!
Action Acceleration
Self-Observation Journal:
- List Facts and Thoughts: Take 10 minutes each day this week to jot down the facts about your life and the thoughts you have about yourself.
- Identify Empowering Thoughts: Highlight any thoughts that you believe are holding you back and replace them with empowering ones. For example, change ‘I am a procrastinator’ to ‘I am capable of managing my time effectively’.
- Collect Evidence: Each day, write down at least one piece of evidence that supports your new, empowering thoughts. Did you start a task without delay? Did you follow through on a commitment? Note it down.
At the end of the week, review your journal. Notice any shifts in your mindset and how they are beginning to shape your actions.
Interesting exercise. I think for me it would depend on the day. I am aware of what can trigger me and my moods and how I handle each situation.
Wow, this post really resonates with me as someone who’s been on a journey of self-discovery and breaking free from people-pleasing patterns! The exercise of separating facts from thoughts is so powerful.
As a recovering perfectionist and people-pleaser, I’ve definitely fallen into the trap of confusing my thoughts for facts. For years, I believed I was “lazy” if I wasn’t constantly productive, or that I was a “bad friend” if I set boundaries. These beliefs felt so true because I’d reinforced them for so long.
But just like you said, these were just thoughts I kept thinking. Realizing this has been transformative in my own personal growth. It’s allowed me to challenge those limiting beliefs and choose more empowering narratives about myself.